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Many are searching for their big love online. My friend Dave* (name was changed at his request) is one of them and has already registered with four different dating services. He keeps me posted on his dating experiences there and I have begun to seriously doubt the validity and integrity of these portals. With slogans such as "Guaranteed contacts" and the premise that members will fall in love at second intervals, I believe there's only one guarantee - there will be considerable costs.
That's what we'd all like online dating to be
At the beginning, things will usually look very promising - creating your profile is free and, if you believe the ads, countless women were already waiting for him. And won't you believe it, within hours after his registration, various ladies visited his profile and, depending on the service, left smileys, short messages or virtual kisses. The problem was that only paying members were able to respond and get in touch with them. But since his chances were so high and life as a single is so hard he happily opened his wallet.
The search for love can be an expensive undertaking - he had to pay between €120 and €450 for three of his dating services. Naturally, contacts were "guaranteed" and the big love among the millions of members was said to be just one click away. Initially, he was confident and astonished at how many women were interested in him, a seemingly average guy. But after a few days, things got uncomfortably quiet. Ladies either didn't write back, their profiles vanished or the reply was something like "I've found my true love. Good luck with your search."
Since Dave is single but not stupid, he did some research. It turned out there were countless similar cases. His worst suspicions were confirmed a few days later when "Lovoo" gained notoriety: The company allegedly used fake profiles to lure visitors into becoming paying members. Using stolen photos, made-up biographies and hordes of female writers (if they were female, that is), love interests were faked to attract customers. And it would never have come out without a whistleblower that handed revealing documents over to the media. So now we have a first prime suspect - and even more suspicions towards other similar services.
If you look up related terms on Google such as the name of a dating service and "scam", you'll quickly find that they've taken precautions! Multiple sites, obviously created by the affected companies themselves, will tell you that there's no foul play involved, everything is fair and square. But they handled things a little too professionally. Who'd write glowing reviews about these services and wrap everything in a visually highly professional layout unless they were involved? This is obviously meant to impede any serious investigation into the dark side of these million dollar businesses. In all my years of research, I've never encountered this type of behavior!
Reason enough to cancel your subscription? That's what Dave thought and he tried to terminate his accounts in due form and time. But the service providers put up as many hurdles as possible, requiring him to send everything by mail (in one case) and to go through grueling cancellation procedures (he had to fill in data that even he as an experienced computer user had trouble finding in his account). And once he got through all of that, there was more trouble ahead in the form of so-called compensation.
Not a case of big love but a case for the courts
With only a few days of use, he expected to get back most of what he had paid but one provider thought otherwise: He was told that they had held up their end of the deal (he had made contact with women) which is why they'd keep 75% of the money he paid. They had charged him a princely sum each time he clicked on a contact's page (naturally, this includes the many profiles that vanished rapidly). This case will most likely end up in court quite soon - and Dave ended up single, again.
So far, so annoying. Frankly, I'm not trying to demonize an entire line of business but we need to be wary of all too big promises and also keep an eye on costs. Treat overly positive or professionally made reviews with suspicion and look beyond the first pages in your search results. And if you're wondering whether I'm Dave - I've not met my better half through a dating service - but through Facebook. :)
What I would like to know: Have you had any experience with dating services? Did Dave just have bad luck? Feel free to comment (anonymously).
About 45 years ago I tried a few "dating agency's that advertised in the newspaper. Went on a dozen or so dates but nothing clicked. I had a good job etc., but as I'm only around 5' 5" (vertically challenged) and not great at making small talk nor socialized much, I had few chances of meeting a large selection of suitable young women.
So I decided to get a job where I'd meet lots of nice young females. And it worked a treat.
Finally found my life partner and have been married since 1984.
And what was this magical job where I'd meet several young females every day I hear you ask?
Believe it or not I was a driving instructor. Happy times:)
You, Sir, are awesome. :)
As a widower I went online eight years ago to look for a new forever partner. Living in Vancouver in Canada I chose a local site, plentyoffish.com which unlike most sites was and I believe still is absolutely free.
Over the next two years I had plenty of dates, no really bad experiences except for a few people whose profiles were nothing like the person I met, 'I have a few extra lbs. and am 40 plus' turned out to be a 67 year old 260 pounder whose profile photo probably was taken 30 years prior. I met some wonderful women, to talk to and share a dinner or an outing with at least, but not that forever one. Until one day it all came together. Turned out she lived about six blocks from me, her circumstances were similar to mine and we have now been happily married for the past four years after living together for two years.
The fact that the site was free (they are financed through ads) and run by a local businessman were no doubt reasons why this all worked so well, as well as that I took my time, was patient and did not give up too soon.
The rip offs never seem to end I wonder when our days are at an end whether the funeral guy will just dump you in a hole in the back yard or feed you to the local pig farm called streaky bacon Tod "I hear pigs do a good job on you".
Yes, the fun never ends.
But your comment was funny. I enjoy grim humor. :)
Send this to my son who has paid a huge amount on traveling to Croatia and come back empty handed, even had to paid a translator to enable him communicate with the girl who could not speak English although the site stated that all of their women can speak English. Hoax and money making
Ouch, that hurts. That would be too big of a risk for me, too. I’d at least have a phone or skype conversation beforehand.
LOL!!!!!!!
I would have called my bank and contested the credit card charge. Banks then ask for an explanation from the vendor and also consider what the customer has to say. Banks have seen scams, and they can just debit the vendor's account for the full amount and credit the customer, who is, after all, the bank's customer too.